I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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