I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
