I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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