I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
