Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
