dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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