He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
