You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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