Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
