I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
