There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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