There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
