so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
