Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
