Someone shit on the floor
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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