on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
