do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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