i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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