She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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