you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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