You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
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