you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
