today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
