i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
