Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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