In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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