i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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