I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
