return my video game
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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