Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize