im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
