member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
