Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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