Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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