Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
