And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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