and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
