Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize