my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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