Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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