i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
