Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
