Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
