Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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