Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
