Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
