i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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