I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
