Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She needs sedatives and a leash
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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