Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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