So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize