I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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