Kiss
Puke
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
