Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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