even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize