it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
