she sounds like chewbacca in bed
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Pooping to opera.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize