Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
