Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
