the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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