she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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