In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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