So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
