a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
