I can tuck mytits in my pants
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
