I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
