3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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