Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
