I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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