No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
